i turned the music off. let the silence speak for itself for a moment. the air stilled and wawered around my head and my head started to get bigger and my eyes heard while my ears awoke. the rusty silence pinged in my head, like on old gumball machine that has forgotten how to do what and with cyristal clearity i knew that i had thwarted myself.
it is important to listen to the music when young for songs travel as far as memories reach and it maps the way to a place we, all but only one child, have already left and since has never been back to. it is an anchor of the all the old worlds of us if one finds the right tune.
i turned of the music and searched for the right tune which i knew was there, for i was disappointed in me and sad and afraid of all the things my new world has brought. i had adored the world of far, the world i had yet to have once upon a time. Now the reward and joy is heavy and hanging and the music of now does not soothe me at all,i seek the easy and light road. it strips me of courage and any will is lost. if this is the devil in the making, i now remember the devil is my head.